Ladies, I’m penning a new medical term today. First, you must know that my background includes zero medical schooling or experience. Obviously, I’m a good choice to be creating my own medical terminology.
My new term: Oilfield Infertility.
Oilfield Infertility: where one struggles to get pregnant while husband is in the oilfield. Primary difficulty is being unable to “get down” during the small fertile window. Woman with oilfield infertility for some reason are not only infertile when their spouse is home, they are typically menstruating.
When one has Oilfield Infertility they will go to great lengths to discover when the fertile window is and how they can see their husbands. Research includes hours of googling search terms, reading message boards, books, and a random person’s infertility blog. Women will have the calendar app, possibly a basal thermometer, ovulation predictor kits, and be checking body signals.
The next step for a woman is trying to figure out how to spend time with her bedmate. For some, during a hitch, this is impossible. Their oilman can be offshore, out of the country, or a long drive away. For a lucky few, they live within driving distance of an oilman’s work. Nothing can kill a mood quicker than a woman joining a man at his man camp. Problems with staying at a man camp include, but are not limited to, the following: roommates, uncleanliness, or it may be against company policy for wives to be at a man camp. Some women will choose to rent a hotel room, if they can even find one. This can result in spending over $200/night for a room at the Super 8 and it will be super, indeed. The last option to visit a man in the oilfield is to have purchased a RV.
The woman will have checked body signals/ tracked her cycle, driven to the oil patch, secured housing, and be ready to go. At this point, the husband has just completed a minimum of a 12 hour shift. He will be operating on very little sleep. He will enjoy seeing his beautiful wife, but turn and say, “Honey, can we not do it tonight, I’m so tired.” Several scenarios can happen after this statement. The woman will work her magic, get what she wants, and everyone goes to bed happy. The woman could start crying. The woman could get sexually aggressive. This will either make the man happy or scared. It is well known that women in the midst of Oilfield Infertility will take the one thing men like more than air or water (aka “getting down”) and make it into an less-than-enjoyable task.
Now she waits.
During the waiting period, many will offer their advice.
Advice, such as:
“Just relax”
The woman will be confused at this statement, because no amount of “relaxing” will fix the problem that is trying to get pregnant while her partner is gone 50-70% of the time.
“ Have you tried NOT trying?”
In the oilfield, this is also known as “abstinence”. Women are confused by this as they always thought that you had to “get down” to even get pregnant….???
If one of your loved ones experience “Oilfield Infertility” please do not give unsolicited advice or opinions. Sometimes they could be on drugs with a hormonal rage. Research has shown that giving unsolicited advice and/or opinion will make a woman want to slap you or avoid you. Please provide prayers or just plain old friendship without judgment instead.
If you are experiencing “Oilfield Infertility” or any other type of infertility please seek out other women who may be in your same situation. You are not alone even though you may feel like it at times. This includes women who are struggling to get pregnant after prior successful pregnancies. God has a plan for you and your family. 1 in 8 women experience infertility and I am one of those women.
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