The last couple of hitches had been rough for me. I was hesitant to share it because there are so many oilfield families looking for work. I knew that people would think that I should be grateful my husband has a job. I am grateful, but that doesn’t mean that my life is perfect. Being an oilfield wife is just hard sometimes.
Let’s be honest, in the last few months the climate in the oilfield has changed dramatically. Price drops, subsequent slowing of production, and layoffs have changed the attitude in a lot of us.
To the oilfield families who have lost jobs this year, I think of you often. First, because I know how it feels to have your loved one laid off. You can read about how I handled our job loss here. Secondly, there is a strong chance I will be joining your ranks later on this year.
I can remember after Oilman got laid off previously, a lot of his friends from work avoided him like he was an Ebola carrier. It was hurtful. I think they didn’t know what to say and maybe felt guilty that they still had jobs and he didn’t. Based on my own experience, people may say that everything is fine after their husband gets laid off, but they need your extra support. Some families are probably prepared and equipped to handle the storm financially, but everyone gets a little bit worried when the checks stop coming in. Money stresses seem to amplify other problems in life. Let’s be sensitive to that and support our fellow oilfield families.
I feel very fortunate that Oilman is currently still working, but like I said earlier, the climate has changed. Half of the men Oilman worked alongside have been laid off. This week I heard snippets of phone conversations as Oilman talked to his friends who were struggling and looking for work. In this type of work environment Oilman does what he does best, which is rise to the occasion. This means if you need to work 28 days instead of 20, you do it. It means that if you are enjoying your 10 days off after that 28 days and your boss calls you in a day early, you do it. It means if you have to work hitch after hitch after hitch all on nights, you do it. You do it without complaint, you keep your head down, and you work.
I didn’t even realize how much the whole situation had been wearing me down until he came home. The 28 days on was rougher than usual. Oilman was all on nights, which translates to less sleep, which equals a less patient husband. Less patient husband was paired with a busy and working wife plus tax season and the IRS. That was not an equation that equaled lovey-dovey text messages, it encouraged arguments. We had several. It got better towards the end of his hitch, but I found myself more emotional and needy during days off. My husband has to deal with an emotional wife sometimes. He wipes her tears and loves her even when she is being selfish, filled with a PMS rage, and/or illogical. She loves him when he is tired, grumpy, and loses his patience 18 days into a hitch.
It’s put me into a funk you guys and I’m slowly pulling myself out.
To all of the oilfield families who are looking for work, my prayers and thoughts are with you. To all of the oilfield wives/girlfriends who are coming out of a tough winter and are emotionally beat down, I’m with you in solidarity. To all of the oilfield wives/girlfriends who do this life year after year without complaint and with style, when I grow up I want to be you.
Oilman just left for another hitch. The sun is shining and spring is upon us here in Texas. I don’t know how many hitches we will get this year, but in the words of Oilman, “let’s give ‘em hell”.
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