When I wrote the post titled “I Quit” I expected those who commented on it to actually read it first. It became clear to me fairly quickly that not all who had something to say about it did. Fact #1: No, I did not leave my husband because of his job. Fact #2: No, I do not, and would never (ever), take advantage of my husband’s job. That said, it might seem to you like I am saying what I am now due to the response received from that article. Also not true. This is something that I’ve been struggling with for quite some time now, and I’m thinking there are other wives out there feeling the same way.
Before my husband started this job, it was easy to put a label on oilfield workers and their families for the simple fact that it was 100% new to all of us in our little tucked-away-town. It seemed as though overnight the caravan rolled into our quiet place and woke it up BIG time with trucks, boots, mud, vans, campers, massive equipment, new hotels, skyrocketing rent prices, new restaurant chains, and lots of people with very different backgrounds than we are used to seeing. Our grocery stores even began carrying very different items of food to accommodate our new neighbors. Yeah, it really rattles the folks of small town Pennsylvania.
We weren’t sure of a variety of things, but we could be very sure of one thing: they made mad-cash-money. Sorry fellow oilfield wives with more veteran wife time than I have! I’m owning it, I judged you. I judged you and your husbands with your big expensive vehicles and the ability to pay the ridiculous rent prices that drove us to buy our own home. I thought you had it made! Who did you think you were, anyway? …Again, I’m sorry.
So, here I sit in the same boat you were once in, I’m sure. People judge me. People think I live the high life of luxury living off every dime my husband makes. Well, in some aspects that is true, but not like you think it is! Not even a little bit! Our house cost nowhere near what you think it does. I drive a secondhand, though very reliable, Subaru (because for me I will never own another kind of car). I hang out in yoga pants and worn t-shirts because I don’t need new clothes all the time. I dislike shoes, I despise purses, and I truthfully am not a fan of jewelry. I’m about to be a broken record: I do not take advantage of my husband’s job!
As a matter of fact, it is the exact opposite. I work JUST AS HARD as my husband does. Fellas, if you’re reading this and you, even for one second, think “yeah right” then it’s your turn to apologize, my friend! You go to your wife right now and you apologize for even imagining the notion that she isn’t an equal partner to you. Trust me, we know how hard your jobs are and we love you so dearly for doing it! We do! You put up with an incredible amount of pressure on you to perform at work in insane conditions. Really, we applaud you and we are so very proud of you!
Now please tell me, why on Earth would you ever knock down your wife or another oilfield wife and say we are (as many people put it) “Gold Diggers”? What makes you think we don’t have it just as hard as you do? Do you have ANY idea what it takes and what we go through while you’re not here? I keep going back to that song “She Was” by Mark Chesnutt with the lyrics “He made the ends meet but she kept them tied” (great song if you’ve never heard it!). It is so true. So true. Yes, you work hard, you make the money, you bring it all home, but we, your wives… we keep these homes, we raise your amazing children, we miss you and care for you from afar, we keep it together when all we want to do is fall apart sometimes. We.are.equals. We are equals emotionally and physically. We are husbands/wives, boyfriends/girlfriends, fiancés, and partners! Regardless of your title in this field, we’re oilfield families.
I’ll close with this: Ladies out there that do indeed take advantage of an oilfield man, stop it. Shame on you. You’re selfish, mean, and you’re making the rest of us look bad. Gentlemen, appreciate your women and all they do. Rest assured they aren’t sitting at home, which you provide, knocking you down. They’re proud of you, they love you, and they’re there for you always. You’re equals in all aspects of this life, and don’t ever think any differently.
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