Oilfield wives come in all shapes and sizes, as do their oilfield husbands. Some work outside the home, some have kids, some are homemakers, some see their husbands every day, and others go months without being together. As much as the lifestyles vary, the resources that are needed to survive the life of an oilfield wife are the same. We all need the same things no matter our circumstances.
All oilfield wives need a support system. This can come in many forms – whether it’s friends, relatives, or church family, we all need someone to back us up. Even if it’s just through an encouraging message on Facebook, a blog by someone who gets it, a phone call from a friend, or better yet – a girl’s night out to vent. We need to surround ourselves with people who understand our life… or at least with people who are willing to listen.
Oilfield wives need a break. There’s a lot riding on our shoulders. Being mom AND dad can take it’s toll. I always feel sympathetic towards my Hot Oil Man husband since he has to spend so much time away from us. But the truth is, he gets time off. When he’s at work – he gets a break from us. When he’s home – he’s in vacation mode getting a break from work. I don’t ever get a break… I’m always mom and I’m always running the ship no matter the day. I’m not complaining, and I wouldn’t change a thing. Well… maybe I’d change one thing, I need to make sure I’m getting a break from time to time. All oilfield wives need a break… before THEY break. This is necessary for survival as an oilfield wife.
And finally, oilfield wives must have good communication with their oilmen. Talk about it, whatever it might be. If you’re feeling stressed, express your concerns. It’s hard to be in a relationship when you spend a lot of time apart, but try not to let communication slip through the cracks. Keep talking. Work through things together, don’t try to handle it all on your own. Oilfield wives need to realize we are not alone, even when we are alone. We are on the same team with our men and we need to let them help us.
We all experience different things in our lives as oilfield wives. No two journeys are alike, but what we need to survive is the same. Encouragement, a little time to ourselves, and good communication with our oilmen.