Sometimes I’m not ready for my Hot Oil Man husband to come home. It’s not that I don’t miss him – because I do. I miss him every second that he’s gone. And it’s not that I don’t like having him here – because I love having him home. But sometimes I just don’t feel prepared.
My HOM says that when he first gets home he needs a couple days to adjust to being around us again. He has to get accustomed to being around people in general for that matter, and not just doing his own thing in work mode. I guess I feel the same way. I get used to my routine. Sometimes I’m not quite ready to leave solo mode, but I have to switch to “family” mode anyway. Ready or not. That means no more quick snacky meals, it’s time to cook for the family. There will also be one more person needing/wanting my attention. Another body in house. One more person to cook for and clean up after (although my husband is fabulous about helping – it’s still…different).
I look forward to my husband being at home with us, but sometimes I feel like I need a little more time to prepare for it. Part of it is our own fault, we’ve always made it “fun” time while dad is home. Therefore, I feel like I have to be caught up on school and housework and errands and groceries and laundry and meal planning and shopping so we can have time to relax or go do something fun. My husband is in vacation mode while he’s at home (which is rightly deserved), but I don’t ever feel like I can take a few days off. He’s ready to play. I’m still trying to keep house. It’s like that old saying, “A mother’s work is never done.” I can’t afford to take a vacation. I can barely keep up as it is.
I don’t dread him coming home. I look forward to it. I want him here with us. Things are the best when we’re all together. But it takes a little effort getting to that point.
It’s sort of like Christmas. Christmas is the best day of the whole year, but sometimes if you’re not fully prepared, you miss part of the fun – or you’re not ready for the fun. If it sneaks up on you, you can feel rushed trying to get everything in order. Then you feel like you have a lot to get done and it can be stressful. You’re not quite ready for the fun part yet because there’s still work to do before the big day. That’s how I feel when I’m not quite ready for my husband to come home.
All we can do is give each other space to adjust and try to be understanding. We both need to adapt to being together again in our own ways. We will get to have our fun, but it just might take a little preparation and patience.
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