25 Things Oilfield Wives [Never Thought They’d] Say

There are articles floating all around the internet focusing on topics like “15 Things Moms of Boys Say”, or “10 Things Moms of Girls Want You To Know.”

Enter the oilfield wives.

Have you ever said something to your oilfield man and then thought to yourself “…did I really just say that?!” Yes, yes you did.

Here are some of my personal favorites:

1. How long has that been in your bag?
2. You’re not going to eat this, right?! Babe, gross.
3. What did I say about your boots?!?!? Off! Now!
4. DON’T….put that there….uuggghhh. Too late.
5. Quick! Get me the Dawn!
6. Baaabbbeee?!?! Is this rig mud?!
7. Shit. It’s spreading. [your answer to question 6]
8. Did you nipple up today?
9. How did tripping go?
10. Dope today?
11. See you in two weeks….or so.
12. “I don’t know.” [Answer to “when will your husband be home?” and “where’s your husband?”]
13. What kind of stain is THIS?!
14. Did you pay your rent this hitch? [because paying for two separate dwellings is normal in a marriage…not!]
15. For the love of all things Holy, don’t forget to change the sheets there!
16. Did you eat today?
17. Who acted like a $#@% today?
18. Naughty photo request for today? [because typical wives don’t send these types of photos to husbands in offices. Welcome to the dark side.]
19.  How deep did you get in the hole today?
20. Can you call us later? If not, talk to you tomorrow.
21. Catch anything on fire today?
22. Well, that’s a new smell.
23. How did THAT get THERE?!
24. I started your car today. [to keep the poor thing alive]
25. Just in case, I love you.

Oh, I could go on! The things we say, I tell you! It’s a good thing we can all relate to these, otherwise everyone would think I’m really [really] strange! What crazy things have you said that you never thought you’d say?

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